Welcome June!

208 words into my new novel! I'm excited about writing my first stand alone novel. I realized the reasons I've had difficulty with my prior novel was that it was designed to be a part of a series - I was working with a group, and we were all writing within the same universe. So my book was designed to be the second or third in a series, but I'm the only one who got to my "the end" page. I'm going to have to really rework that piece to make it a stand alone work.
So... I've decided that I'm going to post parts of my writing daily in my blog. Not the whole thing, perhaps a thousand words a day or so. Just enough to get opinions and such, make sure others find it interesting. I find that the entire writing process works so much better for me if I have constant feedback. It should be a shared experience. So... by end of day today, expect to see the first thousand words of my new fantasy novel here on Blogger!

So, after a lot of introspection, I have decided that part of my issue is burnout. I’ve been working 10 hour days, volunteering, and going to school full time. Though those are all things I want to do, I need to switch it up and spend some time on my creativity. I felt wonderful when I won NaNoWriMo in 2010, so I looked into it, and there is a Summer Camp version of the competition! So, starting June 1, I will be participating in another NaNo. I am honestly very excited about this. I remember last time this really helped my creativity flourish, and was quite a wonderful experience. I look forward to it helping me out of my slump, while giving some of the non school and work related things that have been bumping around in my head an opportunity to get out.

My mate and I are discussing doing this together, again. I’m working on my characterization at this point, trying to nail down ideas about how this will go before the story gets started. I am also collecting sponsors, to help fund this little adventure in novelization. The website for my sponsorship page is: http://www.stayclassy.org/fundraise?fcid=198395

Hello Again

So… it has been more than a year since I have written on this blog. I could cite many “reasons” – working full time & going to school full time, my failing health, many other factors I’m sure. But the fact of the matter is that I have been afraid. Procrastination is always based on fear, and after a certain point in procrastinating, you don’t see the point of even continuing, because you have put everything off for so long already.

I admit to past fears, both of failure and success. I’ve let the negative attitudes of others pollute my attitude. I’ve had small setbacks, and taken them as huge signs, yet had positive results elsewhere, and taken them as flukes. I’ve put everything as more important than working on my health or my business, especially doing the laundry and washing the dishes. I have let the small details of my life RUN my life; let the “to do” lists in my life take up all of my personal time, and all of my energy.

I would like to say “NO MORE!” I would like to believe that I can draw a line in the sand and decree that I will be an organized person with a clear understanding of all priorities from this moment forward. However, I am realistic, and I know me. I’ve lived with me my whole life, and I know I’m not like that. Every few years or months or weeks I scream “no more” to the heavens and dedicate myself to a particular area in my life, and a little while later I’m the way I was before, all over again.

I’m not sure why. I don’t know if it is a lack of willpower, or energy. I don’t know if it is an overabundance of excuses. I understand, logically, that if I truly want my life to be different in certain ways, I have to make changes. I cannot continue doing the same things I have always done, and expect the world to change for me. I have to be the one to change. But I am not traditionally very good at that. And every once in a while I get sick of myself and try to change. And every once in a while I change, for a while, and then revert.

So here I am, trying yet again to climb the mountain I have made of the mole hill of personal improvement. I started with having a booth at a local street fair over the weekend. I’m continuing by posting this blog. Perhaps tomorrow I will go for a walk around the lake instead of turning on the TV. We’ll see.

Busy April

Well, April is almost over, and it was a wonderful month! I participated in my first show, Fashion in Detritus, and I feel it was a rousing success. I took my jewelry along with me to camp for the Earth Day celebration, and sold enough pieces to pay for the whole trip. =)  This is all really assuring me that this is something that will work. I may not be able to make a living doing this, but I can at least pay for a vacation this way!
My next show will be in Council Bluffs, at the Savor the Flavor event. I am hoping to have a display in one of the bars, but at worst I will have a table displaying, specifically, my bottle cap jewelry. I figure, this is a drinking gathering, the patrons would probably like my beer themed work. =) 
I have noticed something, though, that I want to discuss. I've worked with places that charge a vending fee, and places that let people vend for free. Though I have earned more from the 'free' shows, I have paid for them in other ways, such as the stress from lack of organization and communication. There are other shows that charge a booth fee that I've been tempted to try, but I'm scared to put forward that level of commitment. I'm still afraid of failing; still in my learning curve, ya know? So I'm trying to look at the free shows as learning experiences. Hopefully soon I will be confident enough to put my $ where my craft is.

Detritus Photo

I was browsing Fashion in Detritus's website, and found a photo of my jewelry displayed at the show! Check it out here.

Challenge of the day: The movie of your life

I think, in our culture, we all look at ourselves, at one point or another, as the main character in our own story. I know people who are crippled mentally because they aren't some big, important thing. They forget the training montage, they don't want to put the effort into becoming something big, they just expect it to happen, and when it doesn't they're devastated. I'm all about change; I'm always improving myself in one way or another. I didn't like my career anymore, so now I'm going for my Master’s degree and still working full time. I wasn't feeling fulfilled creatively, so I started doing jewelry design, and this weekend my work is being displayed in an art & fashion show.

Life isn't going to give you anything. If you want something, you have to fight for it. If you don’t like what’s happening, change it. If you want a loving relationship, it doesn’t just happen, you have to work at it, but once you have that relationship, it flows like water. If you want something bad enough, if it is something worth doing, it won’t be easy. It CAN’T be easy, or it wouldn’t be worth it. My movie’s plot may look like soap opera fodder in spots, it’s an action and a comedy and a drama and a romance piece, but it’s my life and I’m filling it with as much living as I possibly can!

To end on some favorite lyrics, a personal motto if you will:

“But if you want to see the Northern Lights

You gotta lift up your head and

If you wanna have some kind of life

Decide you're not better off dead and

If you want to read the mystic story written in your future

You better start to write it now...”

~Gaia Consort, Secret of the Crossroads Devil

Fashion In Detritus Weekend

Tonight is the opening of the Fashion in Detritus show, at 5 pm. I will be at the opening reception with artist meet and greet at 7 pm. I'll admit, I'm nervous, but mostly I'm really excited. I even have a piece in the silent auction.

The dragonfly necklace is up for the charity auction. I know a lot of people had said they loved the piece, so hopefully it will sell well. I will have displays in both the main floor, and the downstairs lounge. I was there last night, there is a TON of beautiful artwork being displayed, and I am honored to be participating. Hope to see you there!